Do You Have A Drinking Problem?

~ On The Lighter Side & Then Onto The Serious Side ~

Signs You Have A Drinking Problem...

You lose arguments with inanimate objects.
You have to hold onto the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.
Job interfering with your drinking.
Your doctor finds traces of blood in your alcohol stream.
The back of your head keeps getting hit by the toilet seat.
Sincerely believe alcohol to be the elusive 5th food group.
24 hours in a day, 24 beers in a case - coincidence?? - I think not!
Two hands and just one mouth... - now that's a drinking problem!
When you can focus better with one eye closed.
The parking lot seems to have moved while you were in the bar.
Every person you see has an exact twin.
You fall off the floor...
Your twin sons are named Barley and Hops.
Hey, five beers has just as many calories as a burger, screw dinner!
The glass keeps missing your mouth!
Mosquitoes catch a buzz after attacking you.
Your idea of cutting back is less salt.
The whole bar says 'Hi' when you come in...
You think the four basic food groups are caffeine, nicotine, alcohol and women.
Every night you're beginning to find your roommate's cat more and more attractive.
Hi ocifer. I'm not under the affluence of incohol.
Don't recognize your partner unless seen through bottom of glass.
That damned pink elephant followed me home again.
You have a reserved parking space at the liquor store.
I'm as jober as a sudge.
You've fallen and you can't get up.
Hangovers become an attractive alternative lifestyle.
The shrubbery's drunk too, from frequent watering.

Below you'll find links leading to actual alcohol tests.
Do You Have a Alcohol or Drug Problem?

Self-Assessment Tests
* Tests at About.com
* Tests at HealthAtoZ.com

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