Twas the night before Christmas and all through the kitchen
I was cooking and baking and moanin and bit**in.
I've been here for hours, I can't stop to rest.
This rooms a disaster, just look at this mess!
Tomorrow I've got thirty people to feed.
They expect all the trimmings.
Who cares what I need !
My feet are both blistered, I've got cramps in my legs.
The cat just knocked over a bowl full of eggs.
There's a knock at the door and the telephones ringing
Frosting drips on the counter as the microwave's dinging.
Two pies in the oven, desserts almost done
My cookbook is soiled with butter and crumbs
I've had alI I can stand, I can't take anymore
Then in walks my husband, spilling rum on the floor
He weaves and he wobbles, his balance unsteady
Then grins as he chuckles "The eggnog is ready !"
He looks all around and with total regret,
says "What's taking so long ....aren't you through in here yet?"
As quick as a flash I reach for a knife
He loses an earlobe; I wanted his life!
He flees from the room in terror and pain
And screams "MY GOD WOMAN, YOU'RE GOING INSANE!"
Now what was I doing, and what is that smell ?
Oh, no, it's the pies ! They're burned all to %#*@(!!
I hate to admit when I make a mistake,
but I put them on BROIL instead of on BAKE
What else can go wrong? Is there still more ahead?
If this is good living, I'd rather be dead.
Lord, don't get me wrong, I love holidays
It just leaves me exhausted, all shaky and dazed
But I promise you one thing, If I live till next year
You won't find me pulling my hair out in here.
I'll hire a maid, a cook, and a waiter
and if that doesn't work,
I'LL HAVE IT ALL CATERED !!
Mom's Christmas Connection Website Created By XeCreations~ We hope you enjoyed our Christmas Poetry, Recipes, Craft Ideas, Christmas Card Exchange, Online Community,Trivia,Inspirational Christmas Stories and More ~ Merry Christmas From Our Home To Yours!
