A New Beginning Recovery Humor

Two drunks are driving down the highway
drinking beer. All of a sudden they see a police car's lights flashing in
the rear view mirror.
"What are we going to do?"
asks the drunk passenger.
"Don't worry, I know what to do. Peel the label off your
bottle and stick it to your forehead.
Let me do all the talking."
They pull over and the cop gets out.
"May I see your license and registration?" he asks.
The guy gives him his license.
"Have you been drinking?"
"No officer. We haven't."
"Well, you were weaving back and forth.
Are you sure you haven't had
anything to drink?" The officer asked. "I swear officer. I haven't had a sip."
"Well why do you have beer labels on your foreheads?"
The man answers, "These aren't labels.
We are alcoholics, and we're on the patch!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red, have you been drinking?"
"Gee officer, Your eyes are awfully glazed
have you been eating doughnuts?


		~ Alcohol Warnings ~ 1. Consumption of alcohol may make you think you're whispering when you are not. 2. Consumption of alcohol is a major factor in dancing like an idiot. 3. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell the same boring story over and over again. 4. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that people are really dying for you to telephone them at 4:00 in the morning. 5. Consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the morning and see something really scary (whose species and/or name you can't remember). 6. Consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are laughing WITH you.

~ Random Quotes ~
"Of all the things I've lost,
I miss my mind the most."

"I have not failed. I've just found
10,000 ways that won't work."

"Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?"

"How can there be self-help GROUPS?"